Reasons she may have dumped you

Why she dumped you (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)

Suddenly single and don't know what hit you? Here are some reasons why she may have applied the brakes on your relationship 

If you've been in a relationship that has coasted along just fine until it suddenly hits a snag, it can be a rather disorienting experience. She may say "It's not you, it's me", but chances are it really was you. 

No one pulls the plug on a great partnership for flimsy reasons. If you're lucky and can handle the truth, you will get the undiluted version of why she thinks it's not going to work out. But nobody likes to be the bearer of bad news and it's just easier to let a man down with a diplomatic line. Her job is done and her hands are clean, but you're left with only your battered ego for company. 

If it's driving you up the wall, psychologists Seema Hingorrany and Deepti Makhija offer some clues about why she may have taken the final step. 

She felt suffocated 

You think you're always right and want to have your way most of the times. But you pushed your luck in the relationship when this habit encroached on her personal space. Like you, she enjoys attention from the opposite sex, having a girls' night out every once in a while on a weekend and doing things that make her feel good about herself such as dancing, singing or playing the guitar. If you often picked up a fight with her for hanging out with her male colleagues, or told her not to wear certain outfits that you deemed as revealing, then you dug your own grave. You restricted her freedom and led her to think of you as a lesser man. 

You were clingy 

You didn't have a life of your own. You cut off your close friends so that you could spend all your time with her. You called her at work every now and then to check if she is fine. Your emails and texts were over-the-top and mushy. You didn't complain, you didn't argue and you didn't take the initiative when it came to planning an outing. Instead of being an interesting and challenging guy, you were baggage. A little mystery and self-control is always good if you want to hold on to your girl. 

You want a counsellor 

Every woman wants to be loved and nurtured. However, you were looking for a confidante and a shoulder to cry on. You poured your heart out about all your life problems, hoping that she would have all the answers. You made her feel like she was your mother. And this changed her perception of you from a man to an immature child, who constantly needed someone to wipe his tears and hold his hand, which she obviously had not signed up for. 

You have hygiene issues 

You eat with your mouth open, your breath is less than minty fresh and you burp loudly in public. She never told you that but probably dropped a lot of hints which you failed to pick up. 

If you took your girl for granted and thought it was okay to ignore personal hygiene, you shouldn't really be surprised by your relationship's premature demise, should you? Your socalled casual habits were the reason for her embarrassment lots of times. She just chose not to put up with your smelly armpits, flaky dandruff or unclean nether regions every time. 

You were bad in bed 

You came early, were selfish and never made an attempt to satisfy her. You thought that she was okay with that but she probably never told you so, just to spare your ego. Brush up your skills and learn to give equally in bed. 

You have no confidence 

Even without good looks, a confident man can win over some of the hottest women. If you are low on self-esteem because you have not been with many women so far in your dating career, are not earning enough or too shy to socialise with her friends, your woman will sense it instantly. It's a big turn off to be with a man who is not sure of himself. She is likely to think, how will you take care of her when you are unable to take care of yourself? 

She was not that into you 

While the sex was great, you could never establish an emotional connect with her. You may not have had anything in common in terms of music, movies or food. Whether she never made an effort to understand you or you realised it later, you need to find someone who is into you. The foundation for a strong relationship is based on mutual respect and shared experiences. Maybe next time round, you might just get lucky.