Are you being an office creep?
We had a meeting and the dress code was 'corporate dressing'. I chose to wear a skirt with a matching top.
The moment I walked into the office, everyone kept staring... I became very conscious. Some people said that I looked quite 'hot'. Of course, others said I looked nice. But the fact is, I was made to feel uncomfortable just because I wore a dress," says a young techie, on condition of anonymity.
There is a difference between 'nice' and 'hot', and that's exactly why this young techie was 'okay' with the word 'nice', but was offended by 'hot'. While it is okay to compliment a lady, there is a thin line of etiquette that most men are unaware of. The comments tread into the territory of innuendo and 'sexual harassment' at workplace.
Image consultant Chaitanya CH, says, "Most men are unaware of what can be seen or considered as offensive or sexist or unacceptable by their women colleagues. During corporate etiquette workshops, this is a big problem. While it is easy to teach how to dress at work and how to speak to colleagues, sensitising them about sexual harassment is not that easy, because most men are brought up thinking it is okay to say or do anything."
"If a man wants to compliment a lady, that should be done subtly by politely saying 'you look great' or 'you look awesome' as against 'you look sexy' or 'you look hot'. How a man compliments a woman has to depend on the equation that they share. While someone close may not take offence, others might," Chaitanya adds.
Suneeta Kanga, trainer and mentor, corporate etiquette, says that while the corporate set up is gender-neutral, it does not mean men should stop behaving like 'gentlemen'. "Apart from the correct usage of language and words (no foul words), the physical aspect is important. If there is an office gathering, men can put their hands on the shoulders of their women colleagues for group photographs, but patting or a hit on the shoulders is inappropriate. I often encounter the question of how should a man look at a woman. My advice is always chin up. This depends on the equation shared by the two. It is important for men to learn that not all women will be fine with their way of complimenting," Suneeta explains.
Not acceptable
- Sexy, hot, commenting on body parts.
- No mouthing the 'F' word, no slang.
- Never ask a woman about the previous evening/night and what she did.
- Never discuss other women in a group that includes women.
- Do not stare.
- Hugging or touching women colleagues is a strict 'no'.
- While shaking hands, don't hold it too firmly or with both hands.
- Never comment on what a lady is wearing.
Acceptable
- Use words like 'great', 'awesome', 'smart, 'well co-ordinated' when complimenting.
- Conversations should revolve around general subjects and nothing too personal or physical.
- A firm handshake is fine.
- One can ask, 'How are you doing today?'.
- Looking at a lady's face and saying, 'you look nice' is fine
Are you being an office creep? (Thinkstock photos/Getty Images)
We had a meeting and the dress code was 'corporate dressing'. I chose to wear a skirt with a matching top.
The moment I walked into the office, everyone kept staring... I became very conscious. Some people said that I looked quite 'hot'. Of course, others said I looked nice. But the fact is, I was made to feel uncomfortable just because I wore a dress," says a young techie, on condition of anonymity.
There is a difference between 'nice' and 'hot', and that's exactly why this young techie was 'okay' with the word 'nice', but was offended by 'hot'. While it is okay to compliment a lady, there is a thin line of etiquette that most men are unaware of. The comments tread into the territory of innuendo and 'sexual harassment' at workplace.
Image consultant Chaitanya CH, says, "Most men are unaware of what can be seen or considered as offensive or sexist or unacceptable by their women colleagues. During corporate etiquette workshops, this is a big problem. While it is easy to teach how to dress at work and how to speak to colleagues, sensitising them about sexual harassment is not that easy, because most men are brought up thinking it is okay to say or do anything."
"If a man wants to compliment a lady, that should be done subtly by politely saying 'you look great' or 'you look awesome' as against 'you look sexy' or 'you look hot'. How a man compliments a woman has to depend on the equation that they share. While someone close may not take offence, others might," Chaitanya adds.
Suneeta Kanga, trainer and mentor, corporate etiquette, says that while the corporate set up is gender-neutral, it does not mean men should stop behaving like 'gentlemen'. "Apart from the correct usage of language and words (no foul words), the physical aspect is important. If there is an office gathering, men can put their hands on the shoulders of their women colleagues for group photographs, but patting or a hit on the shoulders is inappropriate. I often encounter the question of how should a man look at a woman. My advice is always chin up. This depends on the equation shared by the two. It is important for men to learn that not all women will be fine with their way of complimenting," Suneeta explains.
Not acceptable
- Sexy, hot, commenting on body parts.
- No mouthing the 'F' word, no slang.
- Never ask a woman about the previous evening/night and what she did.
- Never discuss other women in a group that includes women.
- Do not stare.
- Hugging or touching women colleagues is a strict 'no'.
- While shaking hands, don't hold it too firmly or with both hands.
- Never comment on what a lady is wearing.
Acceptable
- Use words like 'great', 'awesome', 'smart, 'well co-ordinated' when complimenting.
- Conversations should revolve around general subjects and nothing too personal or physical.
- A firm handshake is fine.
- One can ask, 'How are you doing today?'.
- Looking at a lady's face and saying, 'you look nice' is fine
